Friday, 27 May 2011

Pressing Matter

I am doing it right now.

I realise that I am very lazy and so should you, therefore. If you expect regular updates then you will be severely disappoint in me. I'm not here to entertain you, that is preposterous, what the fuck do I get out of that? Oh I forgot if I was going to swear on this blog or not. Fuck it. Anyway, I will only post when I get good reviows and ppl stup flammin fkin preps.

LOL yeah no I'm going to post as much as I like because I'm full of myself and literally think the things I have to say are incredibly interesting and hilarious. Seriously. Also my morals are very applicable in real life and could save people confusion or small scale embarrassment.

Moving on, I recently lost some valuables. Artwork in a clear plastic a3 folder. It looks a bit like this and answers by the name Harry;
I think I left him on the floor of a bus
It had all of my best artwork in it. All my best MS Paint drawings. I've been making strange, wounded animal noises ever since. They escape every now and then when I think about how much I miss him. So I put up posters for my lost friend, and I've been getting an astounding number of prank calls ever since (yesterday). DON'T THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW SERIOUS THIS IS?? 
I also got a phone call from some random number at 3.39am. I was un-with my phone and when I was re-with my phone, it was 4.49am so I figured I'd call them back.
"grunt" she said
"Hello who is this" I said.
Then she hung up. My face was D: and I felt completely alone and rejected. Like those dogs in the RSPA adverts. 

Similar to this

I rang again in the morning and tried to explain,
"Hello, you called me, bla bla bla, but who is this?"

...AGAIN? Who the fuck does that?

Well, it's now been two days since I last touched my folder, two days since I last caressed my artwork lovingly, and fondled the important paperwork within. I'm beginning to realise that I'll probably never GRAAAGHGHGH FUCKUFUFKFFUASKKASKDAKSDASLDLASD ASFFAG KILL MAIM BURN PILLAGE (the grief cycle really does have many applications, just like my morales).

I hope to return to meaningful life soon, but I guess until then I will live an unmeaningful, pointless existence.

The moral of this story is that: Sometimes people call other people to be cocksucking deuchebagging tittybuckets just for the lulz.
But the moral is also: Sometimes you lose things that you really didn't want to lose and it might suck to be you at that point in time.


  1. you should be glad you lost your paint drawings; they hurt my eyes

  2. I have the item in question. :3


  4. Harry had lived an amazing life even though it was rather short. Harry was a great friend; he was the kind of friend that stands by you when you need somebody to be there. He once saved my life. We were both young kids then and we weren’t very close. I was hastily walking across the street when Harry saw a speeding car. If it wasn’t for Harry, I would have died right there. That’s how I became close to Harry. Yes, that was 10 years ago and we’ve been inseparable ever since.

    I remember once Harry told me he met a boy who stole his heart. Being his best friend I must admit I was rather shocked and thought evil things about that boy. Of course as you all know, I am referring to Devin. I was so envious of Harry. It was not because I’m in love with Devin but it’s more of I was simply not used to sharing Harry's time with anyone else. It was always me and harry. When I met Devin, I didn’t know how I would react. Devin turned out to be a really nice person and he ended up being a good friend of mine too. I must say, I was happy for Harry and Devin.

    What is it that we remember when we think of Harry? I think everyone who knows him very well would agree with me on this. It was his sense of humor. He was the kind of person that would make everyone laugh so hard that they’d end up crying. Who could forget about his mama jokes? How about all his blonde jokes? Goodness! Just thinking about those blonde jokes still makes me laugh. He was so out there when he starts those jokes. That is what I will truly miss about Harry. He could make me laugh when I am really sad. He always cheered me up when he knew I just had a bad day. That’s the trademark of Harry. He always wanted to make people happy.

    Harry's death was sudden. I remember when I heard the news I simply could not believe it. Harry was too young but as it slowly occurred to me I have realized that Harry indeed lived his life wonderfully. Harry was well-loved and he had done so many things on earth and I’m sure he’ll do much more in heaven. I will forever be grateful to have known Harry. I will forever be grateful that Harry was there at the right place and at the right time to save my life. I will forever be grateful for spending 10 years of my life with a friend like him. All the memories I have shared with him will forever be cherished and remembered. Harry will forever live in my heart… In our hearts.

    Harry is in heaven now and we are here in his final resting place. This is not the time for us to grieve his death but it’s our time to celebrate his life. Don’t ever forget Harry. He never wanted to see people cry. He wanted to make everyone happy. So at this moment when we are about to lay his body to rest, let’s all think back and remember how Harry touched our lives. How he made us laugh and how good Harry was as a person. This is not the moment for us to shed our tears but we should all be thankful that we were given the chance to have known a folder named Harry.

    Harry will forever be missed but I know in the right time, I will meet Harry again. We will all meet Harry again and he’ll make us laugh in tears again.

  5. PDubski, I couldn't have ever said it better myself. I am so glad Harry had a friend like you in his life, to pick him up when he was down and for the times when I wasn't there or couldn't help him. I think he was always closest to you.

    Your kind words about him have brought this 6'7 man to tears. This tribute to Harry- truly, he would have been proud of you.